“Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you’re not going to get anywhere.” –Phil McGraw. Wise words that can also apply to the addict slamming methamphetamines. Ultimatums lead to broken relationships without helping the addict. So what can one do when a loved one is progressing in addiction and you want to force a solution? Read on to find out.
What is an Ultimatum?
An ultimatum is a final decree. It sounds like, “Stop slamming methamphetamines or you’re out of the house!” It is a declaration of not allowing the addict’s behaviors to rule the house anymore, with little room for negotiation.
What many do not realize is that an ultimatum is a threat; do something or you’ll lose something. An ultimatum sets people up for conflict. An addict does not think clearly. So when he is threatened he will react badly, possibly out of control.
Do They Work?
While an ultimatum may work in the short-term, the effects may not last. If the addict has not hit his bottom and want the change for himself, there is little reason to stop. He may try to stop to please you, may even go to rehab, but if forced he will relapse. He may become more secretive, hiding the fact he is still slamming methamphetamines or changing to another drug.
Resentment and Damaged Relationships
What you need to realize is that the addict is not thinking of you when he is slamming methamphetamines. He is addicted to a powerful drug that has changed the way his brain works. He is no longer in control of his substance abuse. His use is not personal and is not meant to hurt you. He cannot help himself. He needs encouragement to get well. That encouragement does not come through ultimatums.
How to Support Someone Slamming Methamphetamines?
The best way to support someone who is slamming methamphetamines is to encourage recovery. Place a brochure to a rehab center in the house. Leave a Crystal Meth Anonymous book, Crystal Clear Stories of Hope, on the coffee table.
- Do not expect immediate results. You are planting a seed of hope. It will take time to grow.
- Do not bring recovery up in conversation constantly. Nagging the addict will only push him further away.
- Be ready to set healthy boundaries as needed.
Setting Healthy Boundaries Not Ultimatums
There will be times you need to set a healthy boundary with the addict if he is still slamming methamphetamines. An example of a healthy boundary is calmly stating that he cannot use meth in your home or come into the home when he is using. When he is clean and sober, he is welcome to come back.
While this is hard to say and seems like an ultimatum, it is not. You merely say you cannot allow the behavior in your home, near your children, or near you. But you also state that when he is sober, he is welcome. You are showing you love him even when you cannot except the addiction.
It is best to have professional help with setting healthy boundaries. A counselor or certified intervention specialist can help you outline the boundaries you wish to put in place. They can be present to help you speak to the addict, coaching you to speak in love despite any emotional difficulty.
Best of all, an intervention specialist may help the addict see the need for recovery in a new way.
Northlake Recovery Offers Intervention Help
If you need help to talk to a loved one who is slamming methamphetamines, call Northlake Recovery at (561)-770-6616. Our intervention specialists can help you set healthy boundaries and encourage recovery.