Enduring a loved one’s substance abuse can be destructive, but for the father and mothers of addicts it induces unbelievable discomfort. The deceptions and thieving can be painful, but seeing the child you brought up fall under the somewhat limitless snare of addiction seems hopeless. No matter how the parent aims to help, the child gets back into substance abuse. What should you do?
Parents of Addicts Should Acknowledge Their Child Has an Issue
The initial step in recovery for parents of addicts and the addicted child is to acknowledge the issue. Addiction is a disease and cannot be managed like many parents want to believe. Like cancer, addiction can be beat, but it requires time and arduous work. The abuser will not quit using even if the parent wants him to quit.
Parents of Addicts Should Be Well-informed on Addiction
Right after acknowledging that addiction is a disease and you cannot make your child quit, inform yourself on addiction. Discover how addiction transforms the brain. Recognize how the substance being mistreated impacts the mind and body of your child.
When addiction is recognized from a physiological perspective, the disease may be treated as that- a disease. When recognized, discussion between parents of addicts and the addicts can transform. Principles, preference, and rebellion can be discarded as they only trigger the addict to withdrawal from you rather than the addiction.
Parents of Addicts Require Help too
As parents of addicts start to recognize addiction is a disease, they will require assistance discovering how to deal with their children properly. Look for a support group for parents. Al-Anon and CoDA will assist the parents and instruct appropriate support for the addicted children. An additional resource is The Addicts Mom, an on-line community for parents of addicts.
Parents of Addicts Can Discover how to Let Go
Support groups will instruct parents of addiction some helpful ways to surrender in a healthy way. This does not mean deserting the addict or surrendering hopefulness. Letting go means acknowledging you cannot push another individual to get sober. Rather, you can set healthy boundaries with the addict. Together with healthy boundaries, you must learn to look after yourself. You cannot assist the addict when he is ready until you are healthy and strong.
Releasing the concept that you can manage the addict’s habits is relieving. With this goes the self-rejection and bitterness for not having the ability to do so in the past. Many other aspects can be let go of too. Life desires, past experiences, and things you cannot regulate should be at the top of the list.
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” This quote by Ann Landers holds true for every person. Parents of addicts can take heart understanding they are not alone in the battle to let go of a loved one who is abusing substances; whether drugs, alcohol, sex, or the myriad of other things abused.
Ready to Let Go?
As parents of addicts learning to let go can be challenging. Call Northlake Recovery for information on our Family Program and Intervention for your child. We are here to help. Call (561)-770-6616.